A Mountain William Joins The Coast Guard
Anonymous
Cape May, New Jersey
To: Mr. and Mrs. Braithwaite Backus, Bald
Buzzard Ridge,
Mountainville, RFD 2, North Carolina
Dear Ma and Pa,
Am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt
and Brother Elmer the Coast Guard beats working for Old Man Minch a mile. Tell
them to join up quick before maybe all the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 5 a.m. but am
getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast
is smooth your cot and shine some things -- no hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash
to mix, wood to split, fire to lay.
Practically nothing. You got to shave, but
it is not bad in warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc.,
but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, beef, ham steak, fried eggplant, pie and
regular food. But tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit between two city boys
that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you 'til noon, when you get
fed.
It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "marches,"
which, the Chief says, are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not
my place to tell him different. A "march" is about as far as to our
mailbox at home, and we gotta wear shoes! Then the city guys all get sore feet
and we ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful foggy and full of
sand.
Fer sport we git to row boats. I met cousin Beauragard (Midgett) who says that
the boats they got home on Hatteras got engines so we don't have to row. Tells
me that I kin get a job over there after boot camp 'cause any relatives is
welcome out there.
I think it'll be more fun chasin' after them drug runners and refugees they show us motion pictures of. The only thin' I don't lik is the badges you have to wear. People might think I'm a revenoor and shoot me.
There's a bunch of girls here trying to become Coasties too. I don't think they want to be Coasties, they marking there time 'til Sadie Hawkins Day and been eying me and cousin Beauragard up 'n down.
The Chief is like a schoolteacher. He nags
some. The Commander is like the school board. Admirals and Captains just ride around and frown. They don't
bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for
shooting. I don't know why. The bull's-eye is near as big as a chipmonk and
don't move. And it ain't shooting at you, like the Higsett boys at home. All you
got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. you don't even load your own
cartridges. They come in boxes.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellows get onto
this setup and come stampeding in.
Your loving son,
Zeb
P. S. Speaking of shooting, enclosed is
$200 for barn roof and ma's teeth. The city boys shoot craps, but not very good.
- Z.