Submitted By Bernie Hoyland



Hot off the BS wire:

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Coast Guard Commandant Admiral James Loy announced at a press conference on Tuesday the long beleaguered service's solution to the need for a new oceangoing multimission cutter to replace ships in the aging cutter fleet. In cooperation with the U.S. Navy, all five Iowa-class battleships will be transferred over to the Coast Guard and  redesignated as Very High Endurance Cutters (WVHEC), nicknamed by some Coasties as the "Terminator class". Advantages of the new cutters include greatly increased range, towing ability, aircraft deck space, migrant handling capacity, and intimidation ability when dealing with  uncooperative suspect vessels. "Traditionally, smugglers would laugh at the idea of the Coast Guard trying to stop them. These new cutters will have no problem enforcing compliance from even the most belligerent  smuggler or trawler", said ADMIRAL Loy. The inclusion of these new cutters in the Coast Guard fleet solves many of the requirements addressed by the service's Deepwater project. According to ADMIRAL Loy, "there isn't a patrol area where this class of cutter can't reach out and touch someone."  The only problem foreseen by incorporating the Iowa class cutters is the requirement to nearly double the number of uniformed Coasties in the service. "That should be offset by the overwhelming numbers of potential recruits lining up at the recruiting offices for the chance to crew aboard  this new class" said one Coast Guard officer.




This goofy idea would bust the budget just for fuel...and the cost of repairing all those hernias from loading 16 inch shells would not be cheap!   Bernie

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