The Back Story Of An Engagement
Claude
William and Dorothy Neideck Bailey had over 48 years together. When they
celebrated their 48th Anniversary on December 12th, 1995, in her hospital room
with their Priest, family and hospital staff, they were just as deeply in love
as they were one evening in August, 1947, when on the sofa in Ruth Clark's
"Mirador" apartment in San Juan, Puerto Rico, they planned their life
together.
Thirty
four days later
in January 1996 Dorothy was "Promoted To Glory" to worship and serve
Our Lord in Heaven.
Dorothy's
Life can be summed up in that one word, "Service" Before the
marriage she had a professional career as a Nurse Anesthetist serving the sick.
During the early years of the marriage she raised three fine sons with a
considerable percentage of the time alone due to her husband being away at sea.
In later years she studied to become a Eucharistic Minister to visit the sick
and infirm. Always she was "there" to support her husband.
We
learned from the 2001 TV diet that it is interesting to look behind the
scenes of a story to see what went on in the back lot, so to speak. Well, here's
the Back Story of Dorothy and Bill:
A
first post-WWII tourist, Dorothy, 24, was making her first major trip away from
the bosom of her family. Her mother was concerned but glad that she would be
visiting an old family friend in Puerto Rico who was teaching English and the
organist at the Episcopal Cathedral. I am sure that Mother 'Jean' believed that
Ruth would act as a "Duena" for her daughter turned loose in
this sphere of Spanish influence.
Bill,
31, a Lieutenant in the U S Coast Guard, had achieved command of two ships
during the war, and was now skipper of his third ship, newly assigned to the CG
Base in San Juan.
The
story of the romance is told from Bill's point of view in Chapter Five of his
Autobiography. Dorothy never kept a Diary, so we can only guess at her thoughts.
During the courtship, the young people thought that Dorothy's folks back home
were not aware of what was going on. Dorothy did not like to write
letters and probably thought it would be better to tell all about it when she
returned home. What the kids did not know was that Ruth, a sweet and
lovable old lady, was also a prolific letter writer and took her self-imposed
duties as a "Duena" most seriously. She wrote a detailed report
almost every day of the three week visit, but always saying "Now don't let
the young people know that you have already been told."
Many
years later these letters were found. Now here in her own words, is what
happened from the Duena's point of view. If the comments appear
somewhat disjointed or grammatically unconnected, please remember that amid the
mountain of correspondence to be screened, only that which directly involves the
two principal characters is quoted here:
August
3rd 1947 "A Mr. Bailey called Dorothy this afternoon. He is in the
Coast Guard
"Don't
be surprised if Dorothy doesn't write. She is in such a whirl, I wish you could
have seen the only two boys left in the choir--Ted and Mr. Bailey. Sunday
morning in the choir room I saw them watching her with an attitude of having
together, found a rare attractive creature. Later that day Ted asked if I would
mind if Dorothy went to a concert with him. It was OK with me but I remembered
that she had told me that Mr. Bailey wanted her to come to the ship the next
evening. It was just about midnight when they came in.. Dorothy seems to enjoy
this boy, Ted, so much. He is a tall angular youth, 21, but mentally way ahead
for his years. Dorothy was the first girl he has found that can talk seriously
about things he is interested in. After a short visit I shooed him out. When he
left, D said it had been a perfect evening, and that it was so nice to have an
evening with a boy who could really discuss things and exchange opinions."
"The
next day I thought Mr. Bailey was coming at five, but he was early and I
entertained him while D finished dressing. I found out that he had been a
trumpeter in the Boston Civic Symphony Orchestra, and that his father was a
professor in the music conservatory of Capital University, in Ohio. I asked Bill
what he did on the ship. He replied that he was the Captain. I was
so embarrassed. I hadn't noticed his insignia. He was quite the proper officer
in our conversation. He said he hoped I didn't mind taking my guest for the evening. He was so pleased to have her with him. This was a "command"
affair and was ultra formal. The Commodore had come down to the ship to ask for
the loan of two stewards-mates to come up to serve at the party".
"We
were talking about home later and it came out that he was a descendent on his
mother's side of the first Episcopal Bishop of New York. Then he spoke about the
party. They were to go on board his ship before going to the Commodore's
quarters. It was the 147th. Birthday of the United States Coast Guard, and that
the ladies were coming in long dinner dresses, with something over the
shoulders. Would I please tell Dorothy".
"She
came in about twelve or a little after. The party had been a great success and
she had a lot of fun. What thrills me is that she tells me all the little things
that happen. That is, she tells me plenty, perhaps not all. They went to the
ship and looked her over. Bill's cabin was spacious and attractive. He had five
officers with their dates or wives, and they all walked over to the Commodore's
together. After the party she went back to the ship to have some frozen
strawberries, a rare delight in Puerto Rico. Changing to a street dress she
returned to the wardroom, and sat down to howls of laughter of the ship's
officers They said she has just committed a serious blunder-she had sat in the
"Captain's Chair" She just laughed and did not get up. The Captain
came in and was much amused, getting his camera and taking her picture."
"The
next morning Dorothy said she was going with Captain Bailey to an Army Post
Exchange to buy a light meter for her camera, visit the Governor's Palace and
Gardens, and go to the ship for lunch. Afterwards she would come home because
Ted was to take her swimming at three."
"Tomorrow I will be taking her across the island to visit Ponce and
Mayaguez. The boys will have to wait a while. Captain Bailey said he had to take
the ship out on Friday for a week so I guess he won't see her again. But,
believe me, you'll see him in New York some time in October."
"The
Captain called about eleven this morning and said he was taking his ship out
this afternoon and would like Dorothy to come for a short ride. She hadn't been
gone twenty minutes when the Reverend Roig called, wanting us to come over there
tomorrow night. I know I will have to press a little because Dorothy and
Captain Bailey are going to take pictures tomorrow and go to the
Officer's Club for a swim. A little later, Ted called asking if Dorothy was
there. He wanted to go swimming this afternoon. I just hold my breath every time
the phone rings, wondering if I can be tactful and keep everything going
smoothly."
"Dorothy
seems to be really enjoying herself. This morning she came out in our
kitchenette and gave me a big kiss and a spank, and another kiss. This from our
reserved Dorothy gave me the surprise of my life"..
"So
far everything continues to work out smoothly, without one boy knowing about the
other's dates. Perhaps they wouldn't care if they did. Ted left the church just
at five, I went out on the terrace just then and saw Dorothy and Mr. Bailey
going into the church. Later, when I got home, they were both there. I told
Dorothy that Ted would be barging in shortly to pick up a book, but with that
she sweetly said that she and Bill were going out for a lemonade. Which they did
just before Ted came. He got the book, and asked for Dorothy.. (That was what he
had come for mostly). She. got back a few minutes before seven. She and Bill
were having such a good talk that she wished she could have had another hour.
The phone rang. It was young Jorge. She asked him to come a little later,
perhaps about eight. The dinner turned out very well but we had only a few
minutes and ate standing up at the kitchen table. While we ate, poor Ted called,
asking Dorothy to go swimming tomorrow. That couldn't be done as she and Bill
have the day fully planned. So Ted is waiting until Sunday afternoon.
"Her
trip to Bill's ship must have been thrilling. She took the taxi from here as Mr.
Bailey had asked her to do. They wouldn't let the taxi pull onto the pier,
saying that the ship had just pulled out. She explained that that was a sister
ship and that the one she was to meet would arrive exactly at one PM.. Although
the guard insisted that there was no other ship coming, he let her in anyway and
even dusted off a box to sit on. At one, right on the dot, Bill pulled in to get
Dorothy aboard before sailing to the fuel pier. I wish I could have been there
with her. It isn't a boat, it is a big ship, and the whole crew came to the side
waving to her. They put out the gangway but it was very steep. One officer came
down to steady her and another reached down from the ship to take her hand. When
they got her aboard they escorted her right up to Bill on the bridge. She stood
beside him as he backed the ship out, turned it around and headed for the fuel
pier across the harbor. They were out on this trip for a couple of hours. When
she came home she was simply "walking on air".
"The
boys literally are sitting on her doorstep waiting their turns for a date.
Yesterday morning she left at 9 AM and went shopping and to lunch with the
Captain. Ted came to the Mirador at 2 PM to be on time for his date to go
swimming at 2:30. Dorothy came tripping up the steps at 2:20. And almost fell
over when she saw Ted's head in the window. But she entered with such poise,
showed us the precious light meter, carefully avoiding any mention of whom she'd
been with this morning. She sat down at my desk in a most business-like manner,
saying to excuse her, she had to write a note of something. A few moments later
she called me into the bedroom and held before my eyes what she had written at
the desk. "Ruth' Captain Bailey wants to take us both out to dinner at 6
o'clock. 0 K?" I said "Fine", and two minutes later she glided
out the door with Ted. She came beaming back at 5:20, I got her out in the
kitchenette and whispered "How are you going to get Ted out of here before
Bailey arrives?" She looked pleadingly at me but I told her it was entirely
up to her. In five minutes Ted was happy and blithely on his way with a promise
that he would get word as soon as we get back from our trip to Mayaguaz. She
said "Ted, I'll have to show you out since we have to dress for a dinner
date". I heard him say "Why, yes, that's quite all right'. Bailey
showed up at six, just as scheduled, and as I dumped my beautiful pudding all
over the kitchen floor, he graciously helped me clean up and fixed the pot
handles. We had a lovely dinner in down town San Juan.".
On
Dorothy's last night in San Juan, Ruth wrote: "I noted that Bill
"Since
the middle of last week, Dorothy hasn't seen anyone, or anything, but Bill, and
he hasn't seen anything or anyone but Dorothy. The birds at the window haven't a
world of their own any more than these two young folks."
"Now,
please don't forget to tell me in detail, how this young man impresses you when
you meet him this fall. It wont be long because he thinks he will be sent north
by the middle of September. This I am sure of, Dorothy has had one perfect three
weeks visit."
"It
is my idea that Bill is ready to "pop the question" now, but he is so
prosaic and conventional that he is waiting to see Papa first. I venture to say
Papa will like him. If Bill Bailey doesn't turn out to be your future son-
in-law, I really miss my guess. They have so much in common that it is uncanny.
He has that characteristic of yours, Frank, of quietly planning ahead for
everyone's good, and in such a pleasant way that Dorothy always says "All
right".
*
* * * * *
And
with that, the back stage correspondence from Puerto Rico came to a
Dorothy's
father, Frank Neideck, suddenly passed away from a heart attack while
vacationing in Vermont on the very day she flew in. An uncle met her at the
airport. The following day I received an overseas radio-phone call.. Like all
calls of that period, the connection was poor and at times unreadable.
Thunderstruck, I felt that my response to my Beloved had been inadequate---one
seldom knows what to say when hit with news like that. So I called her back and
said I would move heaven and earth to try to get Emergency Leave to come to New
York to be with her.
This
was quite a problem because my ship had a work schedule to sail the next day,
and my executive officer was not yet qualified to command. The Base Operations
Officer, our non-favorite Commander, was giving me a hard time over my request.
Fortunately the skipper of our sister ship which was going
into repair status, volunteered to take my ship. I got a Coast Guard flight over
to Guantanamo Naval Base in Cuba, and from there a Navy plane direct to New York
the same day. I met my future Mother-in-law at the funeral home, not 10 feet
from her husband's body. Was it a difficult meeting-for both of us? Yes, you
might say that! She was gracious but cool.
Mother
Jean had arranged for a room for me at the nearby YMCA where she was an
executive. Leaving the funeral parlor, she invited me home and we sat around the
kitchen table getting acquainted over coffee and sandwiches. The temperature had
warmed considerably.
The
big Lutheran Church on West 65th Street and Central Park was filled with
mourners. Dorothy's parents were well known and very active members. I am sure
that the presence of a strange young naval officer in the family pew was duly
noted. I could not help thinking that this would not be the last time I would
see this church.
Before
I had to go back to my ship, Dorothy and I went shopping for The Ring. There was
no way I would use the one I had bought in Hawaii. There were two strikes
against it already. Before the day was over we has just what we wanted-a
perfect diamond set in platinum with matching wedding rings. There had to be
secret inscriptions engraved so we could not get the rings right away. I knew I
would be coming north in the ship quite soon in a change of home port and would
be stopping in Charleston, S. C. on the way to the Great Lakes. So I suggested
that Dorothy pick up the rings and meet me in Charleston so I could present her
ring properly. She was anxious, of course, to show it off at the hospital
where she worked.
Back
I went to San Juan and the US Mail did a land office business in lovers'
correspondence for the next few weeks.. Soon we got our sailing orders and
started north. The exciting trip to Charleston is described in page 44, Chapter
Six of my Autobiography. Dorothy met us and after a wonderful day together we
ended up in the famous Battery Park on the harbor edge at 0130 hours. I formally
presented my Beloved with Her Ring, swearing eternal fealty and love as has been
done by Southern Gallants in this spot for several hundred years.
Dorothy
went home with a new radiance, keeping her left hand conspicuously visible. I
took my ship straight around Nova Scotia and up through Canada into the Great
Lakes, to our new home port at the city of Grand Haven, Michigan. There waiting
for me was my relief, a full Commander. This turned out to be a less than happy
occasion due to his complete ignorance of our type of vessel. Read Chapter Six
of the Biography. Headquarters in it's wisdom had decided that after command of
three hard working Buoy Tender 180-ft class ships, I should be exposed to the
spit and polish routine of large Coast Guard Cutters. Thus I was ordered to duty
as Navigating Officer of a 311- ft Ocean Weather Station ship home ported in
Boston, and was granted a 30 day leave en route.
Ruth
resumed her correspondence with Mother Jean. The proposed trip for Dorothy to go
south to Charleston had apparently raised some eyebrows.
The
Mirador, September 27th, 1947
"About
the trip south: Frankly I did not think Dorothy would go and I think Bill
doubted it too, as it would be an expense and he is so level-headed that he
looks at things from all angles.. However, now that she did go, I wouldn't say
one word about it one way or the other. I cannot comprehend the seeming depth of
their attraction for each other. Bill could scarcely stand it, to be away from
her, even before he left here. It isn't just silly puppy love stuff either.
He wants her so that he can tell her all about everything that happens every
day, and he wants to start a home.".
"In
letting her go to Charleston, I'm sure you did the right thing. Dorothy has a
mind very much of her own and its time for her to begin to use it. Where she is
not practical, I think Bill will keep an even keel. I am sure she is inclined to
act and then do the thinking afterward. With you and Frank right by her, she
didn't get off the track."
"Now
since they've seen each other down south, I'll be all for gently but firmly standing for an after-Lent wedding. In every way that is the sensible thing. But
the thing one has to watch is the two themselves, Dorothy and Bill. My
conclusion is that if it had not been for Bill, Dorothy's losing her father,
with whom she was so extremely close, would have been much worse for her. I
think she found so many traits in Bill like Frank, that this is the reason why
she decided in an instant that this was the man she wanted to marry. For my
peace of mind it was fortunate that all this happened while Frank was still with
us. But now I am sure that Bill's having come just when he did, is making him
nearer to Dorothy, almost doubly so, and I am wondering if the emotional strain
isn't awfully heavy for her, to be separated from him at all."
"I
could write another paragraph on Bill's side of the picture. He is a man that
acts when he makes up his mind. He said to me when 1. questioned this quick
engagement, " I have been a Captain now for six or seven years and I had to
train myself to make correct decisions without dilly-dallying, and then carry
them out, and the worst of it is that they simply have to be correct." He
went on to say" Don't think I just rushed into this. I sat up one whole
night deciding whether I should ask her. And then I decided that I would, and I
didn't even have to she was thinking the same thing."
So,
if they won't wait until Easter, I wouldn't feel too badly about it. It is one
of those loves, that with any other two young folks rather than Dorothy and
Bill, they would have been married at once. I believe that Bill is going to
take over right where Frank left off.
*
* * * * *
With
the help from our beloved (Duena" and the Coast Guard's giving me
30 days leave, we sweet-talked Mother Jean into letting us have a December
candle-light Wedding. See Chapter Six of the Biography.
As
I write this Back Story of Perfect Love, watching the light sparkle on the
fourth finger of the left hand caressing the computer keys, I think of the
lovely girl that gently placed the Ring of Eternal Love there so very many years
ago.
Thank
YOU Gentle Reader for your interest
C.
William
Bailey