Campbell Chatter

Author Unknown

 Reprinted from Coast Guard Magazine, November 1942


The Campbell, after being hidden behind a cloud of so-called secrecy, has finally decided to emerge and howl a wee bit. After hearing some of the scuttle-butt being passed around we all feel like miracle men (if you know what we mean.)

Wedding bells are knocking off those old pals of mine. The latest victims are Billy Inghram, Cox, and Burke, QM1c. Ah me, little Cupid’s getting set for a broadside in the near future as per scuttle-butt. Many a salty son of the sea will find himself in the sea of matrimony. We give them our heartiest best wishes for good luck, smooth sailing and many launchings.


What Electrician’s Mate 2nd class, with red curly hair, has received an 18-page letter from his heart throb? Gad! What a wee woman can do to a man is positively sabotage!

“Chips” Budreau, CCM, is the lad who fixes all. Anything that fails to function is left to the ingenuity of the Carpenter’s Mate.

“Sparky” Stelmasczyk, CRM, worries so much that he is falling away to a ton. Nelms, RM3c, is quite a lover—dogpatch technique . . . Root, RM3c, after failing persistently, has finally decided to adopt Nelm’s technique in winning the attentions of that fair-haired Boston lassie . . . It won’t be long before Spie, RM2c, bites the matrimonial dust . . . Onions and orchids to the Radio Twinkets, especially the insertions in the Daily Radio Press of Gauld, Trivero and McCullough . . . Lake, RM2c, better known as “Two-Gun Clancy,” thrills to the mellow voice of Gene Autry.

The bridge gang is unique, harboring such screwballs as “Casty” Castell, SM2c, who sent a 50-group message to a flashing buoy; “Enso” Francesconi, SM1c, the kid with the eagle eyes, and Henningson, who wears the wheel not to mention those 16 hairs grown painstakingly on the upper lip. Wiley and Amorosa, QM3c, keep the ball rolling up on that bridge. A whacky (sic) bunch but strictly efficient.


Barton, CCS, has quite a bit of weight in his Dept. “Mac” McGovern, SC1c, is tops in the “art” of cooking. Batting and Keiser, SC2c, go about four-hundred-fifty lbs. between them. Brave men, they actually eat the chow they burn. Gibralter, Sea1c, and Shappard, SC1c, best bakers—bar none. Must use helium gas instead of baking powder. Benson, SC2c, the glamour kid, does the loving for the whole dept.

Carr, CGM, has donned the brass buttons and fore-and-aft creased pants after many years of hard service. Heartiest congratulation, Chief!

Sam Carr, “Glamourpass” Rush, “Little Man” Purish and Angle are inseparable shipmates except when a woman crosses their bow. Then it’s every man for himself . . . Don’t forget our Sawbones, Chief Mewborne and Red Wilkes, PM1c, who certainly are kept busy with everything from seamen to snipes. Give Red an opportunity and he’ll keep you in stitches. (All Right! So it stinks!) . . . Chief Lane has charge of all the official headaches and eats aspirins like popcorn . . . Pasdrich, Y1c, gives a growl for every request but does the job—and well . . . “Pop” Goyette, WT1c, is the sole plank owner aboard the Campbell. For the landlubber’s benefit, “Pop” put the ship in commission and has been aboard since. It’s scuttle-butt, but we hope it’s true that “Pop” is also going to don the brass buttons and fore-and-aft creased pants.


We have one member of our crew who deserves mentioning: has just shipped over, receives no pay, has an awful yen for candy, never has a laundry bill, gets all the liberty he desires and never growls, in fact, no one has ever heard him say a word, and he is positively the biggest rummy that ever leaned against a bar (drinks anything and takes all on-comers). Meet “Sinbad,” Ship’s Dog 1c., the saltiest sea-going son of a )$:&*! that ever sailed the seven seas. He has more girl friends that the whole crew combined. No formalities, that’s “Stinky.”

Read other stories about Sinbad on this site.

Sinbad Has A Snoot Full by Otto Freytag - [379 words] -This is one of the scores of tales told about "Sinbad." 

Sinbad The Four-Legged Sailor by Larry Baker - [1379 words] - [From the U.S. Coast Guard "Retiree Newsletter", July 1988, Issue 7-88]  

[Note: For the newbies: CCM = Chief Carpenter’s Mate; CRM = Chief Radioman; SM = Signalman; CCS = Chief Commissary Steward; SC = Ship’s Cook; CGM = Chief Gunners Mate; PM = Pharmacists Mate; Y = Yeoman; WT = Water Tender; Sea1c = Seaman First Class.]


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