Duane High Jinks

By Esther Stormer

Jack, I just came across a couple stories you may or may not want to use. (By the way, you can put that one about my dad in if you want to.) I'm going to try to send this so you can just print it... hopefully..i f not I'll send you a floppy.
Esther


Stealing From The Navy is Like Stealing From The Government

The DUANE was preparing to go on weather patrol when it was discovered that four of it's water tight doors ... weren't. CWO Floyd Stormer had made friends with a Marine guard at the Navy base and after he explained his problem the Marine made arrangements to let Floyd "reduce the Navy's inventory" by purloining four water tight doors that were to be installed on a Navy ship that was being built at the time. They just happened to be the exact size the DUANE needed. The Marine also made arrangements for the use of a Navy truck. With help from several men, whose names were never mentioned, the new doors were installed on the DUANE and someplace on the bottom of the Atlantic are four non-water tight doors.

A Shrink Is Shrunk

There used to be a rule that every Public Health Doctor had to go on a weather patrol with the Coast Guard. The Coast Guard didn't have it's own doctors.
The DUANE was leaving for patrol when it acquired a doctor whose main training was as a psychiatrist. He hated ships and did not like the Coast Guard at all. So he was a pain in the neck from the first. He griped about the food, the accommodations, and anything else he could think of.

When the ship arrived on station, the weather was so bad that all hatches were closed and no one was allowed on deck, soon all communications were lost. The doctor made everyone's life miserable but seemed to focus on CWO Floyd Stormer. Finally, as a joke, Floyd faked a radio message that the ship that was coming up to relieve them did not have a doctor aboard so the psychiatrist would have to be sent over to it on a high line and stay another six weeks. Floyd thought he'd done his "nasty" for the day until the skipper pounded on Floyd's door at one o'clock in the morning. He said "OK wise ass, that guy is sitting behind a locked door with a pistol at his head. You did it, you get him out of there safely and YOU DO IT NOW!" It took Floyd two hours to talk the doc out of the room. When they arrived back in Boston Floyd had duty the first night. The doc came into the wardroom and said "according to all of the experts, every man on this ship is crazy. No sane man would go north like you people do, knowing the weather was horrible, you wouldn't be able to be outside for days and for crying out loud, you'd be beating ice off the ship with ball bats. You are all certifiably crazy. Floyd just smiled and said "Maybe so, maybe no, but none of us were holding guns to our heads."

 

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