Jim Miotke
The 255's had more recorded mischief the any other vessel class. Here's a tale from the SEBAGO .....
As a deck officer
on the CGC Sebago in the early sixties, one of the most challenging jobs was to
keep the short term reserve officers occupied. One man we’ll call
"Bruce" was a large man that we all were constantly bumping into on
the bridge or in the wardroom.
One afternoon
Bruce came strutting into the wardroom, chest out and grinning. He proudly told
me that the XO had named him "Alcohol Control Officer" for our
upcoming reserve cruise to Tampico.
I feigned a
frightened look and said, "Oh my gosh. No!"
He blinked and
the grin turned to anxiety. "Why? What’s wrong?"
I leaned forward
and said in a lowered voice, "Didn’t they tell you about Ensign
Thompson?"
"Yeah. He’s
at ASW-CIC school in Charleston, isn’t he?"
"That’s what
they told you. (in fact it was true) Actually, he’s in the Marine Brig in
Pensacola. All because of that damned ACO job."
"What
happened?" I now had Bruce’s full attention.
"Well, you
know how cheap the rum is in Mexico. Everybody buys their limit. It was
Thompson’s job to keep it locked up."
"Yeah, the
XO told me that."
"Anyway,
Thompson knew we’d all be anxious to charge ashore when we hit home port again.
At his stateroom desk he took a marking pen and wrote everyone’s name on their
bottles. Just to make it easier to hand out when we were back in port."
"That sounds
like a great idea." I could see Bruce mentally writing it down.
"That’s what
Thompson thought, but the ship took a heavy roll and a bottle of rum rolled off
his stateroom desk and smashed. The XO soon came around and accused Thompson of
drinking aboard and put him in hack. He should be released after this cruise.
Of course, he’ll never make JG. A damned shame, ring-knocker and all."
Bruce sat in
stunned silence for a full minute. Then he asked, "What about the bottle
seal?"
I smacked my palm
against my forehead. "Oh my gosh! We forgot to check the seal."
Bruce was
stunned. "You didn’t think to check the seal?" Bruce got up and
walked slowly out of the wardroom a changed man.
For the next few
days he carried this horror story in the front of his mind. Every time he was
alone with another junior officer he’d bring it up. "Did you hear about
Thompson?"
"Yeah, he’s
in Charleston. At ASW school."
Bruce would shift
to a confidential tone and say, "That’s what they want you to think.
Here’s what really happened…"
To the credit of
my shipmates, most immediately understood the joke and Bruce didn’t catch on
until I finally broke it to him.
He couldn’t
decide whether to be mad or just laugh. So he just stayed confused, which was
his normal state anyway. No harm done.